Divine Love May Hurt, No Matter What

"I think the pain you have had in life has left scars but has driven you toward Aslan just as His claw marks on the back of the girl in "A Horse and His Boy" prompted her to ride her horse faster than she believed possible."

In a letter from a friend


If we live "just right" can we pretty much avoid trouble and pain? I thought so once. Or at least I assumed a corollary idea: if things aren't going well then somehow I must be at fault. And since it all comes back to me, if I can get to bottom of things and set them right, then God will make the trouble go away. Neat! But of course the problem of pain is more complicated.

For one thing, God speak to us "the truth in love" (Eph 4:15) and truth, however kindly shared, can fall like so many hammer blows upon our folly and pride. Is the hammer of a friend a bad thing? No. "Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy" (Prov 27:6). "Blows that wound cleanse away evil; strokes make clean the innermost parts" (Prov 20:30).

Truth often demands change and where there's change there's discomfort, even trauma. Such discomfort and trauma can even be the temporary effect of God's kindness, as when He calls us to repentance (which means a change of direction). "Or do you presume on the riches of his kindness and forbearance and patience, not knowing that God's kindness is meant to lead you to repentance?" (Rom 2:4).

A kind hand may be a rough hand and God's love may bring pain no matter how obedient we are. We might well imagine the healing hands of Jesus being warm and tender, but also firm on account of sawing and sanding and pounding at the carpenter's bench.


Sometimes God uses pain to get our attention. C.S. Lewis said, "Pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our consciences, but shouts in our pains. It is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world."

As a young Christian I came across a poem in J.I. Packer's Knowing God that I've always liked but always found, well, a bit jarring.

When God wants to drill a man,

And thrill a man,

And skill a man
When God wants to mold a man
To play the noblest part;
When He yearns with all His heart
To create so great and bold a man
That all the world shall be amazed,
Watch His methods, watch His ways!

How He ruthlessly perfects

Whom He royally elects!
How He hammers him and hurts him,
And with mighty blows converts him
Into trial shapes of clay which
Only God understands;
While his tortured heart is crying
And he lifts beseeching hands!
How He bends but never breaks
When his good He undertakes;
How He uses whom He chooses,
And with every purpose fuses him;
By every act induces him
To try His splendor out--
God knows what He's about.  -- Unknown

Hebrews 12 instructs us not to be weary when the Lord reproves us, "For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives." Romans 5:3 says, "Suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope." Under the sovereign hand of a loving Heavenly Father, afflictions lead to greater godliness and wider service. Joseph understood this when he reflected upon the cruel treatment of his brothers and said to them, "As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good" (Genesis 50:20).

On the other hand, there is danger in thinking that every hard and painful thing that happens was designed by God simply to make us more godly. If we think like that, life will soon have the feel of a beauty pageant run by a God who seems willing to let any awful thing happen to us just so we will become more attractive to him. But God is not so cold and manipulative; his "steadfast love endures forever" and his "mercies never come to an end" (Lamentations 3:22-23). Really, if all God cares about is making us perfect, then why not take us to heaven now and be done with it? 

No, the cause of many of our troubles lies outside ourselves. The sufferings of Jesus were not due to any shortcoming of his; it was never because he needed moral improvement. His sufferings were entirely the consequence of Adam's sin--Adam's sin and ours. "He was wounded for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities" (Isaiah 53:5).

Granted, the sufferings of Jesus were unique. His sufferings were an atoning sacrifice for sin; because he suffered and died for us, we have forgiveness and peace with God. "He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed" (I Peter 2:24).

Our sufferings, on the other hand, do not and cannot atone for a single sin. Yet, like Jesus, we do in various ways suffer because of the sins of others--ultimately because of Adam's sin by which suffering and death entered into world--but also because of the sins of people we grew up with, the sins of those we live with and work with and worship with.

It is inherent in the human condition that we will oftentimes find ourselves burdened or deprived or neglected or badly treated, not because of what we ourselves have done or failed to do, but because of the sins of others. That is why we must constantly stay poised to forgive. "Forgiveness," writes Neil Anderson, "is agreeing to live with the consequences of another person's sin."

Finally, we should always remember that behind all the world's pain and suffering slithers the malevolent being and activity of Satan. He is the god of this world and he is set to do us harm. Jesus said he is a murderer and a thief who comes only to steal and kill and destroy (John 10:10). "Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world" (I Pet 5:8-9). 

"By every act induces him to try His splendor out." In pain and hardship God invites us to lift up our eyes and see his transcendent glory. "Show me Thy glory"--that is how Moses prayed when things turned ugly in the wilderness (Exodus 33:18). And at the end of the day, that is the best thing we can pray when times are dark and difficult: "Lord, show me Your glory."